


Took an Obscene Direction Some Time Ago

by Aris Merquoni (ArisTGD)



Series: Directionless [8]
Category: House M.D.
Genre: Alternate Universe, BDSM, Community: kink_bingo, Directedverse, M/M, Safe Sane and Consensual, Watersports
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-13
Updated: 2010-08-13
Packaged: 2017-10-11 01:54:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/107033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArisTGD/pseuds/Aris%20Merquoni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>House doesn't do anything by accident. BDSM AU, written for the "watersports" prompt for kink_bingo 2010.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Took an Obscene Direction Some Time Ago

Finally getting collared to House was _great_\--it felt like he was finally relaxing after tensing up for years and it was great to not have to wear a tie to work any more--but it was also terrible, in that it was so totally expected by everyone that it led James to ducking catty comments every day for a week.

So he was already irritated on Friday when he finished getting their dinner plates in the dishwasher and House said, "Okay, go lie down."

James nodded and rinsed his hands off in the sink, then switched off the tap. "Okay, lemme just hit the bathroom first."

"Mmmmmmmmmmmm... no."

James turned and raised his eyebrows. "Uh... okay, but--"

"No buts," House said. "Git."

He wiped his hands off on a dish towel to give himself time to think, but eventually had to just nod and head into the bedroom.

He knew something was up when he sat on the bed to take his shoes off and the mattress crinkled. Like a plastic bag. "Uhhhh," he said as House followed him in, "What's going on?"

"Get your clothes off," House ordered in slightly-amused exasperation.

James shrugged and started stripping. When he was naked, House ordered him to lie down, and cuffed his wrists to the bed with the soft manacles, the ones that meant he was going to be there for a while.

"Okay, so--"

"Hold it right there," House said, then turned and left.

James let his head thunk back on the mattress to another rustle of plastic.

House's alarm clock was on the bedside table, just past his arm where he had to crane his neck to see it, but it let him know it didn't take more than five minutes for House to come back, bag in hand. Still, five minutes was five minutes, and given that he'd already figured out what House was up to the pressure on his bladder was getting insistent.

"So you wrapped the mattress in plastic on purpose..." he started.

House turned to raise an eyebrow at him. "Well, actually I did it by accident, but then I thought, hey, watersports."

"How do you plastic-wrap a mattress by--" the next word was going to be "accident," but then House pulled the catheter and urine sample kit out of his bag. "Uh."

"Okay, so," House announced, "you have a choice here. Either you're washing the sheets before bedtime, or you're going to let me force this tube up your urethra to keep things nice and sterile."

James knew he was easy to read, so he was pretty sure his expression held the mortal terror he was feeling. It felt like he'd been punched in the--well, his bladder was complaining, anyway. "Uhm. I don't--"

House raised his eyebrows. "So, it's bed-wetting, then?"

Oh, God, he hated this. He hated the very _idea,_ not to mention that even though he knew urine was perfectly sterile when it came out of the body he just didn't want to have to deal with feeling dirty and sticky and piss-smelling and he was just cringing and House knew it. He could deal with it at work, he could deal with anything at work, he could deal with patients' skin sloughing off and bowels malfunctioning and he'd worked cheerful afternoons through getting covered in all kinds of bodily fluids and coached his patients through the same but he just couldn't handle being ordered to foul the bed when there was a perfectly good toilet just ten steps away. "Look, I--"

"I'm gonna wash my hands," House said, and put the catheter down on the bed.

Oh, _hell._ James closed his eyes and tried not to listen.

For a moment, he thought House might actually just shut off the tap when he was done. He seemed to just turn on the water, scrub, rinse, and--silence. James took a couple breaths and tried not to think about running water. Okay. House was going to come back and--

Drip.

Drip, drip.

Fucking _hell._

House turned the tap up until the water was a steady trickle, then back down again until the drips were plinking in the basin, and it almost _hurt_ he needed to piss so badly. Fucking _fuck._

House turned up the tap again and James yelled something that might have been "Fucking sonofabitch!"

"You made your decision yet?" House called over the water.

"Okay, fuck it, give me the catheter," he shouted, then winced as he heard the tap snap off. _Hell._

"Interesting," House said. James opened his eyes to see him standing over the bed with a tube of sterile lubricant. He popped the cap off and picked up the end of the catheter.

James closed his eyes, as though that would get him off the hook. House's hand was cold and slick with lube when he grabbed James' dick, and then--oh _fuck_ then--

The catheter was a stiff rubber tube just wide enough to be incredibly uncomfortable when House pressed the tip of it against his urethra. He could feel House tilt the tubing back and forth and push and stretch and... and then it pushed _down_ and he could feel it start sinking into him and push outwards, stretching and invading and forcing--House was going slowly, but James had to grit his teeth and hiss against the awful scraping feeling.

As it got deeper it actually got easier, somehow. He could breathe again when the first part of the tube had slid inside him, and House was just slowly guiding the length in. And then he could feel, like a tapping against his muscles, the tubing slip the last short distance, and with a sudden rush of relief the choice was taken from him and his body expelled all the pressure and tension and warm fluid down the line, down his leg, and into wherever House had stuffed the collection bag.

"You're an asshole," James moaned when he finally felt blessedly relaxed and empty, except for the fucking tube still stuffed into his dick.

"Next time," House said, "I'm not giving you a choice."

**Author's Note:**

> Unfortunately watersports is a squick (YKIOK! IJNMK!) for me due to my own squeamishness, and I do hope that any of that which came out in the story doesn't come across as an attack on those who enjoy the kink. I sincerely do not mean it as such.


End file.
